indwe magazine – June 2005

Colds & Flu
The Return of the Tissue
Text: Sam Weber
Image: © Getty Images/Touchline Photo
“I am dying,” I moan at the Beloved. “Get me to a hospital. Quick.” I can barely see his face over the mound of used tissues littered around me. My nose has taken over my body. I no longer have hair or limbs or sexy bits. It has all turned to nose – one big, runny, stuffy, red, raw nose. All the tissues in the world don’t seem enough to contain the mucus mother lode that is pouring from my swollen nasal orifice.
“Sweetie Pie, you are not dying. You have a cold,” says the Beloved with calm reason. He clearly does not grasp the gravity of my deteriorating health.
“Get me to the emergency room,” I croak congestedly. “I need medical attention!”
“Sweetie Pie, a cold is not an emergency,” the Beloved says with composure that is becoming very irritating.
“Take my temperature!” I cry, desperate to prove the significance of my failing health. The stupid man should be mopping my feverish brow with one hand while punching emergency numbers into his cell phone with the other. Instead he is standing at a safe distance, watching me with a slight but unmistakably exasperated demeanour.
I struggle upright, clawing through crumpled tissues and yank open the bedside drawer. I jab the thermometer under my tongue with a defiant gaze at the Beloved. “You see! 37!” I yell triumphantly.
“Your temperature is normal, Sweetie Pie,” sighs the Beloved. “I’ll go get you something to eat.” Normal? Surely that cannot be right? Disgusted, I toss the thermometer aside. In a far sane corner of my befuddled brain his words ring true but my nose still disagrees. How can I feel this sick and not have a fever? As I puzzle this mystery my panic slowly seeps away and I sag back against the pillows. Maybe I will survive after all.
Apparently, an average of one person out of sixty will suffer from a cold at any one time. This means that in a country like the UK alone, on any one day, 930,000 people will have a cold. That is a whole lot of runny noses.
Both the common cold and flu are viral infections of the upper respiratory system that are usually spread by air when people sneeze, or through contact with other people, or objects which are contaminated. The common cold is the most prevalent upper respiratory illness affecting humans and is caused by a virus known as the rhinovirus. Some scientists believe that viruses are the earliest of life forms.
The symptoms, which include fever, headache, cough, sore throat and muscle aches, appear quickly in the case of flu and more slowly in the case of the common cold. Antibiotics and medications are not effective against the cold and flu since these illnesses are the result of a viral infection. The best one can hope for is to alleviate the symptoms.
Although so common, flu should not be taken lightly. While flu and cold symptoms are similar, influenza is much more serious because it drastically reduces the body’s ability to fight off other infections. Possible complications of flu include pneumonia, which often needs hospital treatment, and even death. The virus can cause infections all year round, but it’s most common in the winter. Anyone can get the flu and the more a person is in close contact with people who have the virus, the more likely they are to get it.
Because flu viruses are unstable and constantly mutating, an immune system exposed by infection or vaccine one year wouldn’t recognize it was the same virus the following year. For this reason it is important to get vaccinated every year. The flu vaccine is made from inactivated viruses, grown in fertilized hens’ eggs. After the shot, the immune system produces antibodies that attack the flu virus when it enters the body. The body takes a week or two to react and vaccines should thus be taken at least a month before flu season.
Despite popular belief, the flu vaccination can’t give someone the flu as it doesn’t contain the active virus needed to do this. It’s true that some people do experience the symptoms of a heavy cold at the same time or just after they’ve had the flu injection. This is a mere coincidence and the symptoms are usually caused by one of the many common cold viruses that are around in the autumn and winter.
The best way to avoid getting flu is to keep your immune system strong by eating a healthy diet, taking regular exercise, getting enough rest and relaxation and not smoking.
When I regain my strength, I resolve, I will sit the Beloved down and lecture him at some length on the above-mentioned facts. Especially the bits about the complications. He clearly does not sufficiently grasp the level of concern required from him.
Just then, the Beloved pokes his head around the door cautiously. He is bearing a tray with chicken soup and a hot toddy, not very effective as a remedy against the common cold but nevertheless comforting in the extreme. Maybe he does understand after all.
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